


Dreams are created and destroyed

by Hidingmyheart



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Post - A Dance With Dragons, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidingmyheart/pseuds/Hidingmyheart
Summary: Brienne wakes up from a haunting dream... Jaime creates new ones
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38
Collections: Oathkeepers Secret Santa 2019





	Dreams are created and destroyed

**Author's Note:**

> For the amazing Darcydash. Thanks for gracing this fandom with your wonderful art 💕

## Jaime

“I can take you to her, ser …” and he followed unconditionally, no looking back, leaving houses and responsibilities behind. He never questioned his decision even when “a day’s ride” turned into weeks of rounding around the same few miles. _We’re not heading anywhere, we’re just hiding... what are we hiding from, Brienne?_ The biggest complain came out in form of “If you wanted me all for yourself, maybe you just should have asked, wench” answered by a simple warm blush and cold silence.

He found her randomly looking at him like the mother to a sick child. Nevertheless, in the moment he meet her eyes, she never accomplished to hold his stare back. He wanted to tease the complete truth out of her, but he know that at the end he would have only more distance, and that was not his ideal outcome. Even with this almost impossible stranger attitude, having her close was good, too good... until they caught them.

* * *

## Brienne

They bounded them again in the horse, like that time long ago. They got to the camp on a moonless night, the torches as the only light source, an absurd in front of the cold that threatened to frozen their blood.

Jaime was on his knees, ruffled, without chance of defending himself from the members of the brotherhood who were insulting, kicking and spiting him. It was painful for Brienne to see him trying to keep the leon’s pride at that time. _It’s my fault_

“You seemed really happy walking to your death, Kinsglayer” Said one of the hooded men as he hit him on the back, clearly pained Jaime still managed to say “The things we do for love… and for honor”. _What does that mean? He’s an honorable man, but I know his love lies with his sister, why do him bring love to the table now?_

“You know nothing about honor” crocked out what was now Lady Stoneheart, as she joined the group. “My lady, I … How? ” Jaime said in shock, but quickly recovered. “If you had let us get to Sansa, maybe I could prove you wrong”

What was left of her Lady raised her hand and it everything stopped. “Bring her here” and Brienne it’s carried to her side. “Sansa?” _How such a torn voice can express this sweetness?_ Brienne wondered. “The rumors said that Littlefinger is traveling in the Vale with a daughter that no one ever heard for, the same age. I know it’s her, please let us fulfill our vow and bring her to you” A spark of hope replaces the hate for only one instant “You’re lying” the almost rotten hand drops and the torture continues.

They attacked him with more violence each time, one of them took Jaime by his hair, yelling at him “There’s no Bolton left, not a single Frey either, and you are just the first Lannister of the list, you should thank the lady maid” A general laughter as Jaime’s eyes find hers. _This is not how this was supposed to be._ She saw the exact moment when he realized that she betrayed him. It hit him barely a second before a kick that make him loose consciousness. 

Brienne was feeling physical pain now, unable to do anything as they keep beating him, he could be dead by all she know but they didn’t stop. He moved into life and she heard the scream “Don’t kill him!...” _Please_ “I’ll do anything” realizing it was her ending her pray as a whisper.

“Enough” Said Lady Catelyn “It’s time” Another hooded figure came close to Brienne and produce a dagger from his cape. _They let me see him hurting, they let me beg for him and now they’re killing me for treason._

It was tempting to just close her eyes, and try to recall Tarth. But she wouldn’t die a coward. So she just keep her eyes on Jaime and prayed the Gods to let him live. The final blow never came; instead, she felt the knife cutting the ropes that were holding her hands behind her back. “We’re not killing him, that’s why you’re here” A foul breath penetrated her nose, as the cold steel was deposited in her hands.

She saw the dagger in her hands, and her eyes immediately search for Jaime, who was fighting his way back to his knees. Then her eyes searched the hatred eyes of what once was Cat, the closest thing she had to a mother. “I swore an oath to protect you” and Brienne was sure there was a different plea behind the words “And I swore to never ask anything from you that can bring you dishonor, but here we are. You have to do it, Brienne”

_I know what’s need to be done. She’s asking me something that will bring me dishonor, and we’re both forsaking one vow._

Behind the tears that flooded Brienne’s eyes, she hardly accomplished to raise them to see the cold, damaged hand posing over hers. The one hand that holds the dagger that crossed Lady Stoneheart chest.

Before the life abandoned her face, it was Lady Catelyn who stared back at her with tenderness and with whispered with her last breath “Sansa, You both made an oath”.

After that, everything is a blurring of horror, blood and confusion.

A whisper “Brienne” And everything turns into blinding cold light. A backlit silhouette and a hand lightly caressing he hair. “Are you still dreaming about it?” She can only nod “Me too… maybe that´s the price we have to pay for surviving. We have to relive it every night.”

Brienne quickly rises to her feet and run out of the tent they share. _He’s a good man and she wants all the sweet words and gentle caresses that constantly fill her dreams. But real life is not like the songs and surely not as her dreams. She knows this is way more that she deserves from him, she failed him._

* * *

## Jaime

_How could she do what she did, to give me only silence since?_

He had a lot to ask, to thank and to fight her for but he remembers what he’s worth, what he is and what he's not, and struggle to keep all his madness in. He can see the despair in blue eyes too, even if she didn't look at him.

He's amused to find that after all this, what makes him truly crazy is still her quietness, her distance and coldness, her determination to stay away even if the limited space of their new found cabin make it nearly impossible.

She looks repulsed at times. _Is she repulsed of me? I know I’ve made things wrong Brienne but if I’d have any word on this I’d never have you passing through this._ She looks deadly concerned other times, but it’s when she goes simply blank when he’s most worried for her. _That’s when she looks a blown away to fall down into pieces._

_I just want to hold her close and whisper to her hair that everything it’s going to be alright over and over until she can believe it, but the wench won’t even give me the chance to look into her eyes._

She’s preparing an improvised bed where she can sleep as far away from him as possible _. I don’t want the bed if I’m going to be cold and alone._ He had been watching her for a while when he decides to stop her nonsense and approach. “It’s cold, there’s a fine bed. We should sleep together, unless you want both of us dead, after all” She looks at him only for a glorious second and then terrified turns her back at him. “No, I.... we, shouldn’t”

“Why did you did it, Brienne?” Barely a whisper. Her eyes are on him again. Sorrow. They both know they’re not talking about the bed now. “Because I had a plan, and it had never worked out if you knew anything”

“You’re lacking faith in me. I lack a hand but you don’t need to save the world alone, Brienne... and you know that’s not what I’m asking here”

A wave of sweetness baths her eyes for a moment. “You know why”. He can’t help himself, he’s unconsciously getting closer to her, hasn’t he always unconsciously getting closer to her _? If it was me in your place I would say because I love you... I love her, I do._ “You’d never have to do that”

There’s the disgusted look again. “Are you really so disgusted by me, wench?” Now there’s just confusion on her turbulent ocean eyes. “I’m not disgusted by you” A whisper and a single tear _... she’s disgusted of what she had to do for me._

“You did the right thing, Brienne” His hand was almost touching her face when she managed to escape “In this scenario, Ser... I can understand now there cannot be such thing as ‘the right thing’, you end up always failing”.

He backs her to the wall “Failing?!” _She thinks she failed_ “Why are you doing this?...Why …you…?” She keeps her head down, and he succeeds to put his only hand under her chin and gently try to make her face up so he would be able to see her. They are too close now. “Jaime, Im sorry. I didn’t wanted to betray you” Her black sins are trying to come out of her eyes, there’s only a sapphire blue ring keeping them in.

Those eyes are telling him the most wonderful tales. _Is she scared or is she wanting?._ They’re too close and now he can’t take his eyes from her full trembling lips. “You didn’t”

_I’m not worthy of those lips but oh gods I want them_ “Jaime. Please” suddenly he is kissing her, her first kiss, but he don’t realize. No when he is trying to kiss some sense into her brain. A kiss and the world blur, it’s edges fade.

It all stops, her hands are right in his chest. They could be suspended in time if it wasn´t for the rapid heartbeat pounding into her fingertips.

_Its seems she can’t remember how to breathe, and what does it matter?. Me neither. Still I would offer you until my last breath._ “Jaime” she sighs. Deepening the kiss and taking her by the tunic to pull her closer to his body, his arms wrapped around her waist all done with an impossible combination between kindness and desperation.

_The world starts to fade again, its smaller every passing second. The air in it will be gone soon or maybe our lungs will combust first._

He needs to stop, just to breathe against her neck. “It’s not possible for your beat to feel so strong on your neck, did you swallow a heart?” _She may have swallowed mine._ And her blood swirls in her cheeks, in her lips. There’s a single tear lost in the blue fire in her eyes and he doesn’t know if it will end up simply melting him or turning him into ashes.

“I'm so sorry Jaime” she said and he ask for her forgiveness too, kissing the tears away from her face. He brush her lips again with great care, all adoration, “Jaime” and she slowly, sweetly responds, clinging to his neck, losing her fingers between his golden locks, and caressing his beard.

They’re lost now on what it was an unwanted bed just moments go. When he touches her waist with the golden hand, she hiss and recedes from it a little. _She deserves a complete man, and I am not._ “I’m sorry” He says as he rises to his knees. She follows, takes the hand and unties it only to throw it as far as she can. “It’s just cold” And place a gentle kiss to his stump before putting it again in her waist, holding his head with both of her hands and leaning on to sweetly kiss him.

In that moment, he knew. Whatever was the reaction she provoked in him. Since the beginning. It is changing him forever, no turning back…Ashes then. _I never thought I could be so impatient to become undone. Only in the best of ways._ “I love you, Brienne”

He had dream of this, slept and awake. The look in her eyes, her moans, her warm hands over his skin. All in reluctant feverish nights, so intense until they paled compared with the reality.

Now, looking at her peacefully dreaming. He knows his dreams are real.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever published work, English is not my first language. I'm sorry for any mistakes this may have, in my defense its made with all my heart.


End file.
